"Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!" (AbarthGuy)
10/22/2013 at 11:29 Filed to: LOLCars
0
13|
"Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!" (AbarthGuy)
10/22/2013 at 11:29 Filed to: LOLCars | 0
| 13 |
This was one of those rare moments which sets the stage for an epic headline. And it was wasted. Here are my suggestions:
SOUSED LUSH SLAMS FLUSH HOUSE
LOCAL DRUNK HAS CRAPPY LUCK
TOO MANY DRINKS, NOW TRUCK STINKS
SH*TWAGON!
THE SH*T HITS THE VAN (I know, it was an Explorer, but most average readers wouldn't make the distinction).
Also, can we please talk about the structural integrity of that building. This is exactly why people compare things to a "brick shithouse." Still standing!
GRAND TRAVERSE CO. A 23-year-old Traverse City woman was arrested for crashing into a city sewage station and leaving the scene.
The crash happened on Monday around 3 a.m. at the City of Traverse City Sewage Lift Station on the northeast corner of Woodmere and Hannah.
Officers found the woman walking on the TART Trail near Boyd Street, about three blocks from the crash.
The woman, who was the registered owner of the car and the sole occupant, admitted to being the driver the left the road and crashed into the building.
The woman was arrested for leaving the scene of a property damage accident and operating under the influence with a high B.A.C. The Traverse City Police Department reports she had a B.A.C. of .280.
Police said the building that housed the sewage station was a total loss. While no sewage leaks occurred, the building also houses many electronic monitoring devices that were damaged.
The woman was held at the Grand Traverse County Jail. She has not yet been arraigned.
ttyymmnn
> Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
10/22/2013 at 11:32 |
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Shouldn't that be, "The Van Hits The Shit"?
MonkeePuzzle
> Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
10/22/2013 at 11:34 |
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local news, not so great at imagination
http://gawker.com/every-local-ne
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
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Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
> ttyymmnn
10/22/2013 at 11:35 |
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It should be, but the first version just rolls of the tongue so easily.
Casper
> Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
10/22/2013 at 11:37 |
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Wow, .280. She certainly wasn't a quitter with a level like that. Amazing she was walking anywhere.
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Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
> MonkeePuzzle
10/22/2013 at 11:38 |
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Biggest disappointment ever. Not one single Fat Bastard reference.
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MonkeePuzzle
> Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
10/22/2013 at 11:42 |
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"get out of my wife's belly!"
Meatcoma
> Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
10/22/2013 at 11:42 |
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Turd Burglar flees on foot, after smash and grab?
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Meatcoma
> Meatcoma
10/22/2013 at 11:44 |
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You have to read that like Ron Burgandy.
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ttyymmnn
> Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
10/22/2013 at 11:46 |
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It does, but I like the word play in the second version. Either way, it's a great headline.
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Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
> ttyymmnn
10/22/2013 at 11:47 |
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Agreed.
MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
> Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
10/22/2013 at 12:00 |
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I always find it interesting when people smash their vehicle into something and then leave it there. It's registered to you! They will find you! Are you planning to say someone stole it? You didn't report it stolen though!
Ahh, damnit I keep trying and trying to apply logic to idiots that drive their cars with a BAC of .280, which means it's impressive she could get the key in the ignition let alone drive as far as she did or that she was capable of walking. Ugh, idiots.
cbell04
> Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
10/22/2013 at 13:05 |
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I've seen some shitty driving in my day but that one takes the urinal cake
AbigGRNboot
> Group B-raaaaaaaaaap!
10/22/2013 at 13:24 |
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Crash Happens...